They didn’t let us down. Our servers fun and personable. The mixture of food and drinks also kept us merry throughout night. To start, we ordered caipirinha, a Brazilian cocktail designed to “open the stomach” with lime and cachaça – a sugarcane liquor. Whether or not the caipirinha drinks actually open the stomach or just numb you enough so that you don’t notice how full you’re getting, they balance the heaviness of the meal with their light and limey flavour.

Pro tip for eating at Gaucho’s: bring your appetite. There is a lot of food coming and you need to make room because it is all delicious!

We always start at the salad bar. My partner claims the cold salads balance the hot meats and allow you to eat more while I like to kid myself that I’m eating healthy by having a couple bites of greenery before delving into the infinite options of meat that are about to come. But to give credit where credit is due, their salad bar is killer. Not only do they have a wide selection, but everything is fresh and crisp. There are warm options too, for those Jonesing for some mashed potatoes or other cooked options.

Then they begin the Rodízio. For those of you who have never been to a Brazilian Barbecue before, it’s more than just great food, it’s a complete dining experience. You have a paper cow that is green on one side and brown on the other. Green means bring on the meat! Brown means you need a break. Several times throughout the night you’ll turn it to the brown side before realizing what style of meat is coming your way, and then quickly turn it green again as another delicious selection comes to your table.

Rodízio is a slow and steady experience that always leads to overeating in the best way possible. At first, a friendly server comes with a chunk of meat on a sword and explains what he is serving. If you want some, he’ll cut you a small slice which you grab with tongs and put on a plate dedicated to this purpose. Every time I think, well that’s a small hunk of meat. And it is, but this is only the tip of the iceberg!

Next, a waiter comes by with something different. Then they come by again. And again. And again. You’ll try things like Garlic Top Sirloin, Spicy Garlic Brisket, Certified Angus Beef, Rosemary Pork Loin, Spolumbo’s Gaucho Sausage, Chicken Wings, Parmesan Beef, Angus Beef Ribs, Bacon Wrapped Chicken, Honey Mustard Lamb and, my personal favourite, Chicken Hearts! Often, they’ll have other specials in addition to their regular menu and if you have any questions, your handy servers are prepared with all the details you would ever want to know.

At the end of the experience you’ll be surprised with how full you have become, and also how much time has passed. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? When you finally make the call to turn over that cow and indicate that you are indeed finished – totally finished – you will be offered coffee and dessert. The desserts look delicious and if everything else about Gaucho’s is any indication, I’m sure they are. I’ve honestly never be able to try one because I am SO full after the experience that even thinking about more food is off the table (unless they’re bringing the chicken hearts around again… Do we want to? We shouldn’t. We really shouldn’t. But they’re just so small! Ok one or two more won’t make us explode. Let’s do it. You only live once!)

At the end of the day, my partner turned 30. Life continued. And we celebrated by getting way too full at Gaucho’s.